[ Adrasteia sucks her teeth in dismay. Her parents may have been poorer than dirt but they didn't care who she cared for, or loved. They allowed her feelings. ]
I'm glad you're here. For more than just the selfish reasons.
[ There's a softness in her voice after that. ]
I would like that. We haven't, yet. Spent the night together.
[ A breath. ]
And now onto other topics: do you know a Rifter named Abby?
[ For each person that recognises her upbringing as normal there’s another who sees it as cruel and unkind. Sidony isn’t sure which camp she sits in any longer; there has been enough time between childhood and now that she dares not think on it too long.
The softness is mirrored - something tender and gentle echoing between them. ]
I am glad as well, if only so that we might have met. Please come, as soon as you’re able. I find myself overcome with the need to see you.
[ Among other things. But at least this is all something she can better manage. ]
It would be the most terrible fate for the two of us, to be sure.
[ It makes her pause, though. Children... Feel beyond her, somehow, some realm she had never considered because it was a role that was not best suited for her. Being a lady, a wife, motherhood - in all of it she only found failings.
[ She hears the pause. Adrasteia knows, in a way, that Sidony's familial expectations to produce an heir are heavy on her shoulders, and not at all aligned with what she wants for herself.
And yet. ]
Before I became a Warden I wished to be a mother. Sometimes I wonder about... raising children despite my not-so-long life expectations at this point.
Not without my share of upset, but those were the children I would be forced to have, not those I would choose.
[ The idea of birthing some old man's child would fill few with glee, she's sure. There is a difference between choosing motherhood and being a breed mare. ]
I suspect that any interaction I have with Abby could not really be called 'raising'; the girl is likely an adult by the standards of wherever she comes from.
[ There's the audio equivalent of a shrug. ]
Do you know what the Ambassador's plans are? I imagine Riftwatch will continue to exist, in some capacity or another, at least for a while.
[ It makes her easy enough to track, so Sidony knows when to be ready to answer the door. ]
End our marriage? I am uncertain. It does offer a certain kind of protection that cannot be found otherwise, but it is hardly a true marriage, nor one of romantic love.
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I'm glad you're here. For more than just the selfish reasons.
[ There's a softness in her voice after that. ]
I would like that. We haven't, yet. Spent the night together.
[ A breath. ]
And now onto other topics: do you know a Rifter named Abby?
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The softness is mirrored - something tender and gentle echoing between them. ]
I am glad as well, if only so that we might have met. Please come, as soon as you’re able. I find myself overcome with the need to see you.
[ Among other things. But at least this is all something she can better manage. ]
Abby? Yes, I’m aware of her. Strong, tall woman?
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[ Fortunately, Adrasteia is mostly packed at any given moment. It's just a matter of cloak and gloves and then... she's off. ]
Yes. Lovely, really. I just loaned her a book at the bonfire.
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[ It's a gentle tease; Sidony sleeps alone, as she oft has, but she would be happy to have her partner with her all the same. ]
IS there are particular reason you mention her?
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No, not really. I only wished to know if you knew of her, or were close. I like her a lot. She... well.
She makes me wonder what children of my own would have been like by now.
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[ It makes her pause, though. Children... Feel beyond her, somehow, some realm she had never considered because it was a role that was not best suited for her. Being a lady, a wife, motherhood - in all of it she only found failings.
Hesitantly - ]
How so?
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[ She hears the pause. Adrasteia knows, in a way, that Sidony's familial expectations to produce an heir are heavy on her shoulders, and not at all aligned with what she wants for herself.
And yet. ]
Before I became a Warden I wished to be a mother. Sometimes I wonder about... raising children despite my not-so-long life expectations at this point.
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There is nothing stopping you doing so.
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[ The idea of birthing some old man's child would fill few with glee, she's sure. There is a difference between choosing motherhood and being a breed mare. ]
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[ The idea of being forced to marry and have children when one doesn't wish to do either would fill any woman with trepidation, Adrasteia is sure. ]
But tell me, as I make my way to the ferry — what do you want from the future for yourself? Once the war is over.
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[ She settles down, fiddling idly with a sheet of parchment as she thinks. ]
I'd like to continue my work. Perhaps learn more in Nevarra, but that may depend on outside factors. I am still married.
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[ There's the audio equivalent of a shrug. ]
Do you know what the Ambassador's plans are? I imagine Riftwatch will continue to exist, in some capacity or another, at least for a while.
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[ Arms. ]
But all the same... No, I've no clue. I'm certain he would be content to dismiss my wifely duties, however, should I wish it.
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[ Arms, definitely.
The sounds around Adrasteia change. She's gone from in the tower, to outside, to now at the ferry awaiting its arrival. ]
Do you think you'd want to?
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End our marriage? I am uncertain. It does offer a certain kind of protection that cannot be found otherwise, but it is hardly a true marriage, nor one of romantic love.
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So I wouldn't discount it as such.
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Adrasteia imagines not, but. She's also not going to ask. Not right now, anyway. ]
He's lucky to have you.
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[ Then, in a softer voice - ]
As lucky as I am to have you, also.
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I feel very blessed to know you and to be as close as we are. I care a lot about you, Sidony. I hope you know that.
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[ Her voice is much quieter now, so as not to be overheard, just in case. ]
I would rather like to kiss you. Sooner, rather than later.
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I can see the ferry now; it won't take me very long to reach you.
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